Having a Better Relationship with Your Teen
If you’ve seen any amount of television or movies in your lifetime, you know how Hollywood depicts the typical parent-teen relationship. Usually mom and dad are the village idiots and the teenagers are disrespectful, sullen and withdrawn. Well, before your relationship gets to this point, remember that the dreaded teen years actually don’t have to be the dreaded teen years. That’s simply another myth we’ve been groomed to accept with a shrug of our shoulders and a cluck of our tongues. “This is normal, my teenager hates me like every other teenager hates their parents.” If this is your attitude before you reach the teen years, then unless you change your thinking, you’ll be circling the same tired old drain every other distraught parent is circling, wondering where you went wrong. The first hint is: you believed the bad press. Don’t.
Our best weapon is to prepare in advance while our child is young, knowing the teenage years are coming. It’s actually not as hard as you think to keep open the lines of communication, and to foster healthy and thriving relationships with our child (or children: I have several). With consistent effort and determination, we can actually look forward to the teenage years. In reviewing my own relationship with my teenager, I’ve come up with a recipe of five “ingredients” that parents can use to develop a thriving relationship with their teenagers. This isn’t exactly a “how-to,” but rather a thought-provoking look at changing our thinking as parents to create an environment of healthy relating and communicating. Let’s face it: nobody wants to raise a sullen, angry teenager who avoids his or her parents. If that’s your parenting goal, then return to your sofa, Tweet Deck, Facebook or fishin’ hole: I’m wasting your “me time.” Otherwise, read on. This is 5 keys to a closer relationship with your teen:
1. 2 Ears, 1 Mouth
2. Mirror, mirror: expect what you give.
3. If you’re going to fight, be on their side.
4. What does the evidence show?
5. Admit you’re wrong.
Remember, this isn’t a step-by-step, but rather is a digested form of what I’ve learned in raising a teenager. Just to tip my hand a little bit here, I am not the perfect parent, far from it. However, I do enjoy my teenage daughter, and I see in her plenty of hope ahead. I’m sharing this information with you because I have found these 5 keys helpful in guiding my thinking and it’s working so far. The only things you have to lose are the right to give up on your children, and any handy excuses you may keep up your sleeve for lazy parenting. Let’s look closer at those 5 keys to a closer relationship with your teen.
